Tuesday, March 18, 2014

2 Appointments in 2 Days...

Mike and I had a consultation appointment today. Over all it went really well and, for me, it was good to sit down with Dr. Jaffe and evaluate where we are in all of this. I haven't actually sat down and talked to her in quite a while. After going over all of my history a few new (to us anyway) things came up. 1. Dr. Jaffe firmly believes all of my fertility problems center around that crazy cyst back in 2009 that blew up and landed me in the hospital for a week. Clearly I am cystic; although she isn't sure I am a true PCOS candidate. 2. I have endometriosis. I heard her mention this briefly before but never directly. Today she told me I for sure have that. It basically
just means lesions/obstruction/scar tissue around the tubes, uterus, ovaries,etc. It makes it really difficult for the eggs to safely travel into the uterus. While she was able to significantly clear much of it during my surgery last October, it wasn't 100% and it doesn't mean the tubes are functioning properly all of the time. This is a bummer, because at this point there isn't anything that can be done further to repair that. It is what it is at this point. It doesn't mean I can't get pregnant, but it does increase my chances of ectopic pregnancy which results in miscarriage or even loss of the ovary itself due to damage. Those are scary words to hear. 3. She dropped the IVF bomb on us today.- She doesn't think we are there yet, by any means, but given the endometriosis, it is more of a sure-fire way of getting pregnant. My heart kind of dropped hearing that. IVF is expensive, it's complicated, and it isn't guaranteed. All in all, I am really praying we don't get there. Aside from that stuff (which seems heavy) she is confident we are close. Each month my levels, ultrasounds, etc. look more promising. She told Mike today, "We just have to get her ovulating". She is confident that we are right there and that once my body is ovulating it's a matter of timing.
I am currently taking Letrozole and will continue for 4 more nights. Then I go back to the doctor next Tuesday for a follicle check. HOPEFULLY - I will have a decent sized follicle or two ;) and they will have me do the HCG shot. (BTW - I think I mistakenly called it an HSG before TOTALLY wrong) HA! At that point Mike and I will make a decision to proceed naturally or add IUI this month. Sorry this isn't full of grace, but in case you don’t know, IUI is affectionately known in the infertile world as the turkey baster. Nice, right? I will let you figure that one out on your own. Feel free to google it - just DO NOT image search, whatever you do ;) We will probably choose to try naturally again, and if it doesn't work next month we will add the booster shots and IUI. I got a little eager yesterday, so talking to the doctor today was just what I needed. She sees I'm getting impatient and she completely understands, but she isn't willing to put me at risk and THAT is why I adore her. While twins would be amazing, her job is to help you get pregnant not pump you full of liters, the next level of drugs can cause over production and if I produce too many follicles in a month she will cancel that months attempts.
No octo-mom here, please and thank you!
So here we are, another month, another few weeks of anxious prayer and waiting, waiting, waiting. I am just so thankful that through our jobs and our insurance we are able to continue on in this quest like we have been. God is so good, even if it isn't my time yet :)

I also noticed today that I am at the one year mark from my miscarriage. One of the hardest things I've delt with in my life, while also being one of the biggest lessons of my life. Had that pregnancy worked out the way I would have liked, I'd be holding a sweet babe right now. I take comfort in knowing that wasn't the baby God planned for me to hold. I may not know why, and maybe it's better that way. If you have someone you love that's been through this, dont just reach out to them when it's current. Pray for that person, remind them that you are thinking of them. Getting over it does get easier with time, but random days will bring back all of the tears and emotions. It's so nice to hear that your friends and family love you and are there. <3

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