Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Something new everyday...

I think Mike is over his initial shock of it being twins. Of course he knew it was a possibility, but when you've been on this journey as long as we have you begin to doubt it will ever happen, much less twice over! He has always been more optimistic than I have been, but part of me always wondered if that was just for my benefit.

Anyway, this week the idea of twins has really started to sink in for us. There is a lot to be done before they arrive and we've only just begun! We are working on trying to get our budget in place, how the bedrooms will need to be rearranged, start thinking about baby registries, focusing on getting our IVF debt paid down, the list goes on and on.

I have to just keep telling myself "One thing at at time". I'll tell ya though, 6 months doesn't seem so far away. Yikes!

Aside from our prepping, I have been getting stronger bouts of nausea. It's coming in waves now, and nothing sounds appealing to eat. I am also still so tired. By about 8 p.m. I can barely keep my eyes open. Then, like clock work I am waking around 4 and my mind starts racing.

I had another bleed over the weekend. It was just one quick rush and then it was done. It's scary, but I know I just have to keep on keeping on. The doctor told me not to be concerned unless I am in pain or I see heavy clotting. Praise God, it hasn't been anything like that. The rough part is you kind of feel like a ticking time bomb. When will the next bleed happen? Will there be another one? Will that one be scary? When will this be done? ahhhh.

Lately I just keep my focus on the sound of those two little hearts beating. They were strong and loud and as the doctor said "The best indication of a healthy pregnancy". Beautiful!

Another positive? I had more blood work on Monday. They wanted to check my E2 (estrogen) levels again. They did, and my levels rose perfectly. She feels confident that my body is in step with this pregnancy and that the need for added hormone support is fading. I got to reduce my medications, and hopefully soon will get to stop them all together. The nurse said this is another great indication that this pregnancy is strong. Music to my ears!

We will have another ultrasound next Thursday - the 23rd. On that day I will be 8 weeks and I am so excited for Mike to see it live. He was running late and missed the first one :(.

We are so grateful for everyone that has reached out over the last week or so. It is so comforting to know how many people are praying for these babies and for us! God is clearly listening!!


Friday, October 10, 2014

Our 2nd scare that turned into the most incredible blessing...

SO of course I jinxed myself.

After writing that I had hopped the needle would be the last scare of our pregnancy, we had another. Last night I was at Jake's baseball game (which was great - he had two hits to the outfield for doubles) and had to go to the bathroom.

Lately, my life consists of eating, sleeping, trying not to puke, and going to the bathroom. However, and sorry for the TMI - this time there was blood. :( I just starred and said no no no no no - probably 20 times.

I have been through a miscarriage before and it is awful, but something about this felt different. First of all, there was no cramping, and it wasn't a whole lot of blood. I didn't cry. I told myself I would be fine and I left it up to God.

Many of you may have seen my silent prayer request on facebook. I was nervous but I kept reminding myself that either way, it was out of my control. I slept really well last night, and as soon as 8:00 am rolled around I called my doctor.

She wanted me to come in and her next available appointment was at 10:30 am. So I went through my normal morning routine, got to work, and calmly waited for my appointment time. I really felt at peace with everything and just kept reminding myself that I was not in control.

Mike was planning to meet me at the office, but I got there before him. They called me back told me we would be doing an ultrasound! They wanted to see if they could find the source of the bleeding. This also meant we would get a sneak peek at the baby.

We begin the ultrasound and the first think Dr. Jaffe said was "The baby is right here, healthy, heart beating!" Praise God! She then moved the screen where I couldn't see it and told me she would show me in a minute. This made me a little nervous but I knew the baby she showed me was ok. Next she told me she found the source of the bleed. She said it was relatively small and that I just need to take it easy. She also didn't think it was an immediate danger to the baby.

Next, she turned on the speaker and I could hear a heart beat! Of course I started crying at that point. She said the heartbeat was nice and strong. She proceeded to take a few more picture in silence, and I noticed the nurse was making a funny face. She turned back on the speaker and said "Can you hear that?" "That's baby number 2!"

I lost it. Smiling and crying. My nurse started to cry. She said they both were strong and measuring well. She worked and worked to get a clear picture of them side by side but given that they are still just peanuts we settled for this shot:

Meet Baby A and Baby B! Baby B is a little harder to make out, he/she is actually sitting almost behind A so the fuzziness is hard to detect. The whiter part in that sac is the heartbeat. One of the most beautiful things I have ever heard!

Dr. Jaffe wanted to mess with Mike and tell him there were quads! She likes to tease him a little, but I couldn't keep a straight face.

So we have twins on board! 2 healthy, developing babies! I can't believe it. I think Mike was in even more shock. He just starred at this picture for like 10 minutes. I am sure he is busy re-working our budget as we speak. :)

Thank you so, so much for all of the prayers! Twin pregnancy is risky, and we have a long way to go. Our first goal is to make it to week 8 when we get to see them again. Our next will be to get through the first trimester. If things don't go as (we) plan I will still be so thankful for what I got to see and hear today. For now there are 3 hearts beating in my body and one of those is so full it could explode!

Thursday, October 9, 2014

6 week update...

Today I am officially 6 weeks pregnant!

As I type, holding back the urge to purge, I can honestly say how thrilled I am to be feeling pregnancy symptoms. Of course it would have been nice to skip morning all day, never ending sickness, but it also is a constant reminder that I have a baby growing inside of me!

My other big symptom is exhaustion. I am tired. It has really hit me as I rounded the corner into week 6. Walking from my car into work this morning, I felt like I had just finished running a marathon. It's work to keep my head in the upright position. Lunch breaks at work may have to become nap time...

I know my exhaustion is because of all the amazing things going on in my body. This week several major organs are being put to use, the baby's circulating blood via his/her circulatory system, and he/she is looking less like a tad-pole and more like a person - growing nose, eyes, ears, chin and cheeks. No wonder I'm worn out!

I also got some good news from my doctor yesterday!... They did some blood work to check up on my estrogen and progesterone levels (these are the hormones I have been injecting daily) and they are nice and high! This means I get to come off of the shots and begin oral versions of the hormones. Praise God! I can't tell you how happy I am  to not have to begin every day and end every day with needles! I know Mike is happy too...

Speaking of, I had something INSANE happen to use last Friday night. Sorry if this story gets a little wordy, but stick it out.

As you guys know, I have to do a shot every morning and night. Most of the time it isn't that big of a deal, but it does stink when you are trying to make other plans.. Friday night I had plans to go with some girlfriends to a birthday dinner. Mike and Jake had soccer practice, so it worked out nicely. Unfortunately, before we could get on with our night, I had to have Mike meet me at home to get my shot done.
We had new needles from a local pharmacy and anytime something has changed in my routine, it makes me a little anxious. That being said, they seemed to be working fine. I got the needle ready, iced my back side and laid down on the bed like I do every time we do the shots. Mike did his part, just like normal, but when he went to remove the needle it make a strange clicking sound.
I instantly freaked and the dialogue went a little like this:
Me -"what was that noise?" no answer,
Me -"Mike, what was that noise?!"
Mike- "I don't know, I don't know what happened. The needle is gone!"
Mike - "I mean I went to pull it out and it broke off! It's gone."
(Que the hysteria)
Me (totally crying) - "Can you see it? Get it out! Get it out!"
Mike - "No I can't see it at all, just a little blood"
Me (flipping out) - "We have to go to the hospital right now" - I think I repeated this in my state of shock probably 20 times.
Mike (remaining calm) - "Ok, let's go, but you have to calm down."
Me - "You try calming down when there is a 2 inch needle missing in your butt!"

From there we got in the car. I held myself up off the seat as we drove to the nearest emergency clinic. I was still panicking. Scared because of the pain, terrified that it would somehow cause harm to the baby. Just straight freaking out.
The wonderful nurse practitioner assured me that she wouldn't do anything that could hurt the baby, and then said "Since I can't x-ray you, I'm going to have to numb you up and dig around for the needle."
Uh... not ok. Dig around? Oh Em Gee.
She wanted to push around on the area to see if we could pinpoint the location of the needle, but other than soreness I couldn't really feel any pain.
At that point Mike asked her if she wanted to see the needle. (He is so wonderful and calm that he brought all of that stuff with us.) And she did. After a few seconds of examining, she asked for a new needle and removed it from the packaging. She asked Mike to show her what happened so he did and again the needle was gone when he got to the end of pushing the syringe. We were looking all over for it and she said "wait a minute, I'll be right back"
A few seconds later she entered the room with a industrial pair of scissors and began to hack away at the syringe. She finally was able to break it in half, and there was the needle!

The pharmacy had given us the wrong needles. They gave us retractable needles (which we didn't even know existed) without any warning. They all laughed but I think I just stood there starring. She then went on to tell us how upset she was with the pharmacy for giving these needles to us without explaining how they work. She said they aren't typically given out to patients, but are more often used by medical professionals.

I was extremely relieved, but I think my adrenaline had gotten so high that when it crashed, it wiped me out. Mike took me home after that and all I wanted to do was sleep. I do remember on the ride home, him looking at me and saying "Well, that's a good story for your blog!"...

Hopefully that was our one and only medical scare for this pregnancy!