Mixed Emotions...

I didn't have a chance to blog about my doctor’s appointment yesterday. Honestly, I didn't really want too. After my appointment on Tuesday, I left the doctor's office unsure of how I felt. The ultrasound tech said my scan last month showed a cyst measuring at 7cm and that she would be checking to see if it was gone... For reference, I just pulled out a ruler, 7cm is a little over 2.5 inches, about the size of a baseball. This month, she saw 2 cysts, 1 measuring about 4 cm the other about 3. She didn't know what to tell me, other than that the my nurse would be calling me.

I left confused. How did I have one giant cyst and now 2 smaller. All I could think is what is so wrong with my body that I can't get rid of these damned cysts? I was upset.

I returned to work and tried to go on with day. The nurse called around 4 to tell me that the doctor thinks the two cysts are actually the one cysts beginning to break apart, hopefully, preparing to leave my body. Good news
right? My body, albeit slowly, is trying to get rid of the cyst. Moving in the right direction! However, I still can't move forward with the medicine, so it'sanother month of "patiently" waiting, plus 3 weeks of birth control, followed by another ultrasound to check the status. I am going to take the birth control this month. I want to get this over with and move on..

I know I'm not alone in this. I have my husband, who is living it with me, my sweet family and friends who ask for updates and tell me how much they love my blog, how much it means to them that I write from my heart, and of course my God. My ever faithful, always loving, God. I know as long as I am seeking for what pleases
His heart, I won't ever be alone in this. I can honestly say I haven't felt alone in this in a long time. It doesn't mean I don’t feel disappointment. It doesn't mean I don't get discouraged. I absolutely do, but I will continue to
keep going and work through this because I know God wants me to have the desires of my heart. Desires that will honor Him, and speak as a witness to His love.

<3 <3 <3