December won't be "The Month"...

As you can probably guess from the title of this post, my appointment didn't go well this morning. At all. All I needed was two blank ovaries - no cysts, just nothing... she said my uterus looks great, my right ovary was fine, and then she scanned over to the left. It is always that left ovary. There, like a baseball, was a giant cyst. Huge is the word she used actually. She told me I must have a high tolerance for pain because this thing should be hurting, if not now, soon. Great! So no medicine, no baby, pain, oh and icing on the cake... I have to go on birth control. I fought back the tears until I got into my car and I just let it all out. I sobbed in the car the entire way back to work. I called Mike and I could tell he was disappointed too. He made me feel better, he always does, but I just feel like we flew backwards 10 steps. Can I just catch a break? I'm sure in a day or two I will gather myself and be more optimistic, I will pray about this and ask God for clarity and peace, but for now I just want to cry and sulk, and pour myself a big glass of wine...